Thank You Google For The Spam Recipes

...and fishing was something done to obtain food, improve co-ordination, and relax...oh, and let's not forget - fishing was prominent in the development of...

Story-telling!

But alas, now fishing is PHISHING - an illegal online activity whereby someone tricks you out of your identification details in order to rob you...

And SPAM - is just plain annoying...

However - I finally decided to check out the ADVERTISEMENTS that the Big 'G' keeps displaying in my email account, along the sides, and guess what?

Google keeps matchin' up FOOD recipes in my spam-folder of my gmail account. Spam Luncheon Meat Recipes!

Spam Tortilla Sandwiches - Exported from a source called Master Cook

Ingredients:

(Serves 6)

* 1 - 12/oz Can SPAM Luncheon Meat

* 1 - 8/0z package of Cream Chease (softened)

* 1/3c chopped green onionize : 6 Preparation Time :0:00

* 2 tablespoons, chopped, fresh dill

* 3 -8" Flour tortillas

* 1 - medium cucumber, peeled and thinly sliced

* 1/4c Sunflower seeds

* 1/2c Alfalfa sprouts

Combine the SPAM luncheon meat and softened cream cheese in a bowl.

Stir in green onion and the dill.

Spread 1/3 of the Spam mixture evenly over each tortilla.

Top each with cucumber slices, sunflower seeds and alfalfa sprouts.

Roll up each tortilla, 'jelly roll' style and wrap in plastic wrap.

Refrigerate for 2 hours.

To serve, unwrap from plastic wrap, slice each roll in half and enjoy!

Google Ads in my gmail Spam folder led me to the above recipe,

via the following link:

http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/meat/pork/spam/tortilla-sandwiches1.html

Fill out a few 'freebie' newsletter forms online...

Eventually that will lead you to 'credit card,' 'improve your credit,' and 'eliminate debt' SPAM-mails...and these will start to bring you the best Spam Luncheon Meat recipes!

Before I entered my name into lists, all I got were 'Fried Spam' recipes.

Now I've got the High-Class "IMPERIAL" luncheon meat recipes!

Or, at least in the year 2000, there was a Spam Super Hero.

Drumroll please...*rattattatta tatta ratta ch-ching*

SPAM MAN !!!

And don't be messin' with Spam Man, either, 'cos he is DEFENDING THE WORLD!!!

(Haven't figured out what he's defending the world FOR or protecting the world FROM, but I'm still researching)

In any case - don't mess with Spam Man - I mean it...

The photo below is from the OFFICIAL Spam Fan Club Newsletter:

http://www.spamman.faithweb.com/sliceofspam.html

* Earn over $55 000 a year

* Avoid community pot luck suppers

* Stay out of the grocery store aisle that displays canned chili

* Donate a real ham next time you are dealing with the Food Bank - just in case your next interaction with the Food Bank is to acquire food, yourself!

I found myself staring down a can of spam recently, wondering how to liven up the fabulous mystery meat.

Online, I found a "California Spamburger Hamburger" recipe that looked interesting. Well, more interesting than non-california-spam-burger lunch, so I got to work prepping lettuce, onions, green peppers and tomatoes.

Originally, the recipe was:

* 1 - 12oz can of you-know-what-fantabulous mystery meat, 6-pack Whole Wheat Hamburger buns, 3 Tablespoons of Thousand Island Salad Dressing, lettuce leaves, sliced tomato, sliced green pepper, and sliced onions.

I was supposed to slice the Spam up into 6 slices and fry those baddie slices over medium heat in a skillet 'until golden brown'

mmmmmmm anticipation of mystery meat smells

(NOT)

Then I was supposed to 'dress' the buns, yaddayaddayadda, basically a 'pseudo-burger' (so it would THINK it was a real hamburger) using Spam instead of hamburger.

But that seemed TOO DAMNED EASY for me and very non-hamburger-like.

What I did instead was wash up my hands really well and got ready to 'handle' the spam in the same way as ground beef.

I chopped some of the onions very finely, and MUSHED 'em into the spam loaf and added just a splash of redhotsauce and worcestershire (wurshtur? woorster? woosteh-sir? lol) sauce 'til about an ounce of grease was in my palms. Incidentally, handling a can of spam in this way, I believe, makes for a healthier spamburger in the end! The reason: in cleaning up your hands, you wash away about an ounce of mystery-lard that will NOT go into your pseudo- oops, spamburger.

Don't worry, there is enough spamsticky to keep the pseudoburgers together once you're done 'mushing.'

Next - I fashioned very slim burger patties with my hands, then placed onion slices and green pepper slices between two slim patties, then SQUISHED 'em into one regular sized patty.

AND THEN...into the fry-pan, but on low-medium, as I wanted to make sure that the heat would touch the veggies inside.

Once the spamburger patties were browned reasonably (not the lightly golden in the original recipe), I put the patties on buns dressed with Thousand Islands as a spread, more onion & green pepper slices, tomato slices and lettuce.

Though the original recipe implies 6 servings will come from this recipe, I got 5 pseudo, oops, I mean spamburgers out of MY VERSION, and the patties had a nice 'bite' to 'em from the splashes of hot sauce and worcestershire sauce.

VOILA Pseudo-Burgers, with California flair?